My beautiful first born. My estimated due date for Miss A was January 23. I had left my job at a pottery studio in December because I knew that I wanted to stay home to be with her full time. I had prepared as much as I knew how, cleaned every nook and cranny of our two bedroom apartment, washed all her tiny clothing, put together the crib and co-sleeper, read and re-read the chapters about labor and delivery and cleaned some more. When January 23rd came and went I grew frustrated and tired of being so uncomfortable. I just wanted to hold my sweet baby girl. At 4am Sunday January 28th, I woke with a strong pain in my belly. I rolled to my left and hit to wake my husband and simultaneously my water broke. I immediately called my doctor's office and was instructed to head to the hospital.
    With the help of my sister-in-law, we made it to the hospital about two hours later, which is roughly an hour and 45 minutes later than it takes to drive there. It took so long because my instincts were telling me not to leave the comforts of my home. I of course know now that was a normal feeling. Contractions were five minutes apart when I changed into a hospital gown and climbed into the bed. The nurse told us that a doctor would be in soon to check my cervix and we eagerly waited to see how far along I was. When the doctor came in, before he checked my cervix, he told me that my usual doctor was not going to make it, because he was still on vacation. I was too excited about finally meeting Miss A., that I didn’t let his absence worry me. The doctor checked my cervix and I was pleased to hear I had dilated to 3cm! He quickly added ‘and that’s her vagina’. I thought to myself.. and then said out loud, ‘well yea… that’s where you are.’ He responded with ‘not yours, the babies. She’s breech’. What?!?!
The next three hours were a whirlwind of signing papers, meeting with an anesthesiologist to discuss epidural placement and having an ultrasound with a machine that had clearly seen better days.  All while still being in labor and contracting. I was scared and began to think about how I skipped over the chapters regarding cesarean sections, in my pregnancy books. I was walked into the very bright OR at 11:00, the epidural was placed in my spine (after two tries to get it in), my arms were strapped down to the table and a cloth drape was lifted at my chest. I remember shaking so much because of how nervous I was and the anesthesiologist saying he would give me ‘something to calm your nerves.’  My husband was brought in to hold my hand and I remember how wonderful he was at keeping his fear hidden behind that blue mask, haha. He was offered the chance to peek over the drape to see his first born and he joyfully did…. until the anesthesiologist kindly asked him to sit back down. I later learned that he had turned very pale and they feared he was going to pass out.
    At 11:23 we heard our sweet baby girl cry for the first time. The nurse brought her to me so I could give her a quick cheek to cheek kiss, before taking her to the warming table for examination, apgar scoring, shots and eye drops. She weighed 7lbs 11oz and was 21 inches long. They wrapped her up snuggly and handed her to her Daddy. There she stayed for the next hour while the doctors stitched me back together. I listened to the nurses counting all the tools and gauze pads to be sure they didn’t leave anything behind before the attending explained different stitches and encouraged the resident through the process. I kindly asked if this procedure included a tummy tuck which was greeted with laughter that suggested they had heard that line before. At least I tried.
They dropped the drape, removed my epidural line and elevated the head of my bed slightly before moving me back to labor and delivery room. My husband and our baby girl walked into the room behind me and she quickly met some of our family before they left to give us some new family time. The nurse came in and lifted my head a bit more and got me comfortable enough so I could hold my sweet baby girl for the first time. Those eyes! I unwrapped her, counted her fingers and toes and stared into those big beautiful eyes. As she lay on my bare chest, she instinctively rooted for my breast and our journey began.
